Some Experiences Make You

So, as a Diabetic, inevitably you will earn some stories. Stories about the ignorance surrounding the disease, about low blood sugars, about mistakes, and about chaos. All these things, mold you, you take away new information from each experience. Some is useful, some is not, and some make you feel dumb for not thinking of it before. ni 

Here's what I mean:

Little boys are dumb. (at the time, I was a little girl, so I can say this.)

• I was once on a play ground and it was recently after I started using an insulin pump. I was between 4th and 5th grade and this boy would not leave me alone. He was making fun of my pump and I was sick of it. I told him I was a robot and that my pump was my battery pack. I then proceeded to chase him around the play ground until I had to go home. I bet he still thinks he met a cyborg.
• There was this special little area in the classroom in 4th grade where, when it was your turn, you got to sit for DEAR (drop everything and read!). It was my turn and I was in there with this guy named James. After he sat there, trying to get as close to the wall and as far from me as possible for a while I asked him what was wrong, he told me he didn't want to catch my disease. I said it wasn't contagious but he just went on and on about it and how gross that made me. The next day I checked my blood sugar at recess and then chased him with my bloody finger. I now know this was not the best way to deal with the situation, but it was a ton of fun making him scream like a little girl. 

Low blood sugars make for dumb statements

• In the 9th grade I was sitting in my desk in the front of my history class and everyone was in groups. I had to reach down for my purse and it was on the side with the stupid arm rest (which by the way is further proof the world hates leftys). I reached, and reached and eventually I realized the desk was tipping over. I was spaced out and dizzy and too slow to stop it so instead, I look over at the guy next to me and simply say, "I'm falling." I then flipped over still sitting in the desk. The teacher came and flipped it back over, right side up, with me still in it.

Travel isn't as easy as you'd think.

• Once there was a fire alarm in the middle of the night when my family was staying in a hotel. It woke us up and we all scrambled to get out half asleep and panicked. I realized my blood sugar was low, and looked up to see my mom clutching my purse with the food in it and running down the hall. Great. Eventually my dad and I caught up. Turns out the "fire" was burned popcorn and my mom heard this and started heading back up the stairs. Dad and I yelled, one last time, and got her attention. She finally turned around and handed it over.
• I got distracted by the TV in a hotel room while taking a break from my pump. This was before I used insulin pens and was just using plain old syringes to give shots. I gave 17 units of my fast acting insulin instead of 3. Thankfully I realized this. 3 Dr. Peppers, a juice box, banana, doughnut, and biscuit later I was finally stable-ish. And it was time to ride roller coasters!
• My pump set off an alarm in an airport once. It had been fine in the others so it was a little surprising. After attempting to clarify with a grumpy, bossy security person that this was not a cell phone no matter how many times she said it was but actually an Insulin pump, the lovely security person put me in one of those great plastic boxes like a gerbil. I then had the lovely experience of them using that wand thing and double checking that I was not carrying a bomb. I walked to my mom when it was over and found out my stuff, everything but my belt and shoes were still in the line. We didn't really handle that well.

Etc.

Throughout the years, people tell me things I can and can't eat. They tell me things I can or can't do. They tell me their 400 pound cousin has diabetes and died of it or their grandma has it and only has one leg. Thanks guys. My reaction is always different. To some, its, a simple, somewhat generalized, "yes I can eat this. I chase it with insulin, I'm good thanks." or " Oh they do? I'm sorry. Yeah, it sucks."  Sometimes I'm not as nice. While I try to educate and correct misconceptions I'm not always a beacon of Diabetic perfection and optimism. Its kind of fun to get creative. It can be easier to say that I'm a robot than to explain the truth. If I'm stuck with this, occasionally, there has to be some perks. 

Frankly, Our Options Suck... But We Deal With It.

So heres the fun thing. Treatment. While yes, I am thankful I live in a time and a country where I have a choice, they really aren't that great. You either do injections multiple times a day or you have a pump tethered to your side all the time. No matter what, your sugars go up and down and you never get a break. We try for control but even with the best technology, it is very difficult to achieve. 

Personally I prefer the pump but sometimes, a change can be the thing that brings you back from the edge of being fed up and exhausted.

There are good and bad with both.

Injections can be very inconvenient. It isn't as easy as just pressing a couple buttons to give some insulin when you eat or you are fixing a high blood sugar. Often the long acting insulin doesn't really last as long as it is advertised. 

However, on the plus side, there is a freedom to not being attached to something 24/7. There is a different kind of flexibility that comes with injections that you just can't experience when on the pump. After being on the pump for a long time and then doing shots for a couple months its always amazing to look at myself in the mirror and not see that little box sticking out of my pocket or tubbing trailing down my leg.

Pumps can be inconvenient as well. You have to be sure to tuck the tubbing in to what your wearing or door knobs can be among your worst enemies. A night full of tossing and turning has you tangled in tubbing or with a lovely and somewhat painfully, square box imprinted into your side, back, or stomach. There is also always the risk of a bad pump site that leaks or kinks and air bubbles in your tubbing.

But on the other hand, pumps make it easy to give insulin for a meal discreetly, mine (the Animas Ping) even pairs with a glucometer that works as a remote which is great when you have hidden your pump under clothing. They are also great for allowing your insulin to adjust at different times through out the day and can allow for better control. 

No matter what, there are times where it gets very, very old. Where it gets hard to continue, but, there's no other option. It passes. Right now this is the choice given to us and we have to make the best of it. One day, there will be a cure, but until that day, we have these two things to choose from and we have no better choice than to make the best of it.