Fresh start.

I love my insulin pump. I love the ease of pushing a couple buttons to give a boost of insulin when I eat and thats it. TaDa! I love how discrete it is to bolus. The things I don't love about my insulin pump are greatly outweighed by the things I love about it. 

But change can be good.

In the fourth grade I started on my first insulin pump. I've pretty much only been on the pump since then, I took the first pump vacation a couple years ago. It was just for a couple of months but, for the most part, the pump was my choice for treatment. Until a couple of months ago. 

Right now I'm on shots. The initial reason for the swap out was I was sick of not falling asleep. I could not get comfortable and every time I was almost close I would be tangled in tubing. I just started having a very difficult time cooperating with my little machine. I grew to hate it. I hated changing the site every 3 days. I hated the tubbing being tucked in my waist band and the bulge the pump caused in my pocket. I was sick of those little "easy" buttons when in reality, its still just as difficult to make the right dosage decision. I even hated the color now, every time I saw that translucent blue peaking out I wanted it to vanish. No more hiding that box under my clothes when I dress up. I was so sick of everything about it, a constant visual reminder of insulin, blood sugars, and schedules. 

I have been on my shots for about 2 months now and I am still enjoying it, but, like with the pump, there will come a time when I am sick of this and will go back. I have noticed things that are different when on shots though. For all the "freedom" I claim to have on a pump, there are advantages to this as well. 

For one, as long as I give the long acting insulin (for me, Levimir) on time, I can have an even more flexible schedule than before. I had difficulty doing shows with demanding schedules on the pump but I haven't had an issue yet on shots. There is also physical freedom, no strings, no constant visual reminder. 

I drastically dip much less frequently when I exercise. Normally, on the pump, even if I went to the mall and did a lot of walking, I would drop. I haven't had that problem on shots, I think something can be said about using a long acting insulin, at least for me, I feel more stable. 

Its like the illusion of a fresh start.